Taking an extra minute for connection, empathy, and empowerment has transformed the visit. The patient remains concerned about the swab, however, she has a growing sense of autonomy and control in addition to increased trust in our care relationship. I find more joy in the interaction as it focuses on human connection: the whole reason why I went into healthcare. Trauma-informed care provides very basic yet incredibly powerful tools to improve the experience for both the provider and the patient.

I recently opened a newsletter from the hospital foundation and saw a familiar face—the Child Life Specialist who turned a regular Elsa doll from their toy closet into a replica of Ellie, complete with halo and trach tube. Mind you, this is not a regular part of the Child Life Specialist job description. I assure you that “medically correct toy designer” is deep into the “other duties, as assigned” section!

After just a few times being asked what happened, I realized that even as I opted not to share the horrific details of her accident, I was reliving every eternal “time stopped” moment, every panicked thought, every worst fear of the initial moments when it happened. I was absorbing and reabsorbing the worst of the experience without gaining any benefit from the support people intended to offer with their question

I have been time-disoriented since that night four years ago.

I thought it took hours for the ambulance to come, but it was 4 minutes. I held my girl and thought she was dead because she wasn’t moving her arms or legs.

Four years ago, I sat on the floor in our dining room and begged her to move her arms and legs. I told the EMTs to get a c-collar on her because my arms were tired from holding her spine in alignment. Our pediatrician told me later that I probably kept Ellie from being paralyzed.

I learned that you cannot predict how situations might unfold - they might go better or differently than you imagined in this “new normal.” It just doesn’t help to have preconceived ideas or conclusions.

Mental health challenges sometimes carry with them the added burden of disbelief.

Even a ten minute visit from a friend or family member can help shift perspective while in the PICU.

Sucky and lucky often go together on a health journey. Our challenge is to shine the spotlight — even just a tiny bit more— on the lucky.

Alongside developed from personal experience and a desire to create space for family support.